I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what day is it and did you see me today?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
They are going to name an STD after you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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