I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
