This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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