nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
