We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do herpes really smell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
