I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
