He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
