don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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