I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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