he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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