just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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