You're completely useless in the revolution.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
