i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
