when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
