cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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