i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
