I like my sex mixed with concussions.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
