About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
