she was so not down for the gang bang
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
