Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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