I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You dont lie about slip and slides
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
