Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
