I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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