I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
