It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
