The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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