smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
