Cold hands, warm shart.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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