I've blown a few things in my day
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Vodka?
Forever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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