Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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