If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
