Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
