My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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