dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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