wanna go halves on a baby?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
