I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
