Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
