Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize