And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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