I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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