the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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