You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
