FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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