So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
