I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize