Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
And then he peed in my hair
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