I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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