the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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