She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
