Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
