There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
