this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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