and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
