Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
