weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
