butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
