Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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