oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
