He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
