I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
